1:15am
by jonathanturners
Summary: what happens after midnight. lucaya, eighth grade.


Lucas is sitting between Maya and Riley, and it feels so symbolic of his life right now that he wants to _scream_.

"Riles, I'm going to get ready for bed," Maya speaks up suddenly. Lucas knows it's her silent way of telling him he needs to talk to Riley. He knows he should.

He doesn't really want to.

"Okay," Riley says quietly, pausing. Maya stands up, pulling her jacket tighter around her small frame. "Actually, I'm coming with you." Riley faces Lucas. "See you tomorrow," she smiles, not meeting his eyes. "Um, thanks for coming."

"Yeah," he replies, but he's looking at Maya. "Happy New Year."

Lucas watches as the two disappear around the corner together, breathing a sigh of relief. He drags his hand over his face, opening his eyes to realize that there's another figure across the roof.

He stands up and walks over slowly. It's a short girl with a large coat and a thick scarf. She looks familiar.

"I'm in your Introduction to Engineering class." _Okay, she reads minds,_ Lucas thinks.

"That's why I've seen you before," he leans against the bench probably a foot away from her.

"Probably." She's looking at the sky, where smoke left over from the fireworks floats aimlessly, covering what few stars are usually visible in New York's sky. "I'm Michaela." He glances at her. She has light brown hair and dark brown eyes the color of his mother's coffee table at home.

"I'm Lucas," he introduces himself.

"I know," she says easily. "What did Maya say to you?" Lucas is almost startled. Almost. But at this point, he's pretty sure everyone knows about them.

"Uh, she said she was glad I was there at midnight," Lucas scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

Michaela turns to face him. "Lucas, if you could go back, rewind, would you be with Riley the second time around?" She frowns. "Would you be with Riley instead of Maya and never know that Maya would have been glad if you were with her at midnight?"

Lucas shakes his head immediately. "No." He's not sure how what she said even made sense to him, or why he feels like he could tell this girl anything. He'd only just met her.

Michaela nods, seeming satisfied with his answer. A small smile tugs the corners of her lips upward. "Good."

She's halfway to the stairs when Lucas realizes he was supposed to have gotten something out of that.

"Wait!" He blurts before he can think about it. Michaela turns immediately. "What was I…" He trails off. "Why is that important?" She raises an eyebrow, walking back toward him.

"Because _that_ ," she points, "is how you feel, Lucas." She narrows her eyes. "You still don't know?" Lucas sighs.

"Just because I'm glad I was with Maya at midnight doesn't mean I wouldn't have liked being with Riley." Even as he speaks he knows it's not entirely true. "Right?"

"Really? You're going with _that_ as your argument?" Michaela sounds almost amused. Lucas sighs again.

"Riley's the type of person I'd be comfortable with," he admits. "She likes the person I'm trying to be."

"She likes the person she wishes you would be, and she doesn't like the person you are. Do you think you should change?" Her comment makes Lucas freeze, because those words are the exact ones he's been thinking since Zay arrived.

When Lucas' best friend revealed that Lucas had gotten expelled, Maya was the one who didn't freak out. _"I finally like you,"_ she had said. She accepted the slightly violence-prone part of him, seemed to _like_ it, even. Riley had demanded to know what he had done and tried to guilt-trip him.

He doesn't want to be 'Texas Lucas' anymore, but he's pretty sure it'll always be part of him. "I don't know how I feel," he whispers.

"Everyone else does," she replies.

"Still. Am I supposed to feel what everyone else thinks I should?"

"Well, do you?" Michaela looks at him expectantly. He gives her a lost look. "This is going to take longer than I thought," she groans. "Follow me." When he doesn't move, she turns back around and waves him over with her hand, "come on, let's go."

Lucas is surprised that _Topanga's_ is open, seeing as it's at least 12:45 by the time he and Michaela arrive.

"Happy New Year, Lucy," Michaela waves to the barista. "Can I get two hot chocolates?"

"Of course, Mickey," the blonde girl behind the counter says cheerfully, making them quickly and sliding the cups over.

Lucas follows Michaela over to the big orange chairs, where she sits and props her feet up on the table. He sits next to her, allowing his head to fall back.

She's quiet for a solid five minutes, sipping her hot chocolate. Finally she glances at him before setting her empty cup down with a _thud_.

"Why do you like Riley?" It's blunt and Lucas feels like he should be surprised but he isn't, not really. "Just a question, I'm not saying you shouldn't."

"Because I'm comfortable with her," he responds immediately.

"That's dangerous."

"How?"

"It's just dangerous to be too comfortable, take my word for it." There's distaste in her tone. Lucas can sense it and he knows she's speaking from personal experience.

"Comfortable isn't bad," Lucas argues weakly, only because he feels like he has to. Riley liking him seems to add a pressure to always be Mr. Perfect. He enjoys being a moral compass and all, but Lucas knows that everyone has a little bit of rebel in them. _Some more than others,_ he thinks, _Maya._

"I'm not saying it's bad," Michaela allows, "it's just dangerous, for certain people. You get used to it and it never changes. But what do I know, maybe it'll work for you and Riley." She shrugs, but Lucas is already confused enough to want to know what she's trying to tell him.

"So, what's the other option?" He asks lightly, setting his cup beside hers on the table. "If I'm not comfortable, what am I?" Her eyes light up at his interest. A smile tugs at her lips and she folds her legs up, turning toward him in her chair.

"You're challenged, all the time. _She_ challenges you. She makes you question everything, think through every thought you ever think twice. You think and you learn and she never lets you off easy. She's fire and passion instead of calm and _comfortable_. Comfort is too easy. Challenge gives you something new every time. You never know what you're getting. It's exciting."

Lucas' breath is long gone and the only thing he can think is _Maya, Maya is challenging and fire and passion and exciting._

"You know from experience," he notes after a moment, head barely clear enough to get the words out. Her eyes shut briefly, and when she opens them Lucas finds regret and only a small trace of anger, but for some reason he knows it's not anger toward him.

"I had a challenge once," she says shortly. "I let him go." It's anger toward herself. For letting him go. And Lucas never wants to be angry at himself for letting someone go.

Who will he let go of, though? Even letting Riley go wouldn't _really_ be letting her go. She'd still be there, a constant, steady friend no matter what.

Letting Maya go would be different. If Lucas let Maya go, she'd be gone. She'd still be there, but she'd be gone. Lucas knows that even if he chooses Riley, Maya still wouldn't leave; she could never leave Riley. But she wouldn't be there the way he wants her to: witty and teasing and _challenging_. She would be more distant and careful, the way they both were on their dates ( _If you could even call them that,_ Lucas thinks), unsure of what to say and how to act for fear of making things more awkward. He doesn't want that Maya.

"You know, don't you?" Michaela says softly, studying his face. His eyes are wide with realization, and it makes the brunette smile. "Don't be like me, Lucas. Don't let her go."

Lucas shoots out of his chair abruptly and bolts out the door. It's 1:15 a.m., and that's the moment he chooses Maya.


End file.
